He Is Not My Legacy
“A child is not a legacy. It is a life... and it is an individual life. It has to be what it has to be.”
Hearing the words above was a game changer. They resonate with me to this day. It’s a pretty straightforward statement yet it carries so much weight for me. That can be attributed to perfect timing, since the first time I heard it was about a month or two before Elliot was born.
In those days I was doing a lot of thinking about what kind of father I wanted to be. What kind of lessons and values I wanted to pass onto my children. I think we all have a vision, and if we’re honest, even a mild expectation of who we want our kids to be. It’s easy to fall into that and consider their character and ethics as reflections of our own. Their wins as ours and their losses too…. and we don’t like to lose.
Both my visions & expectations were laid to rest once I heard the quote above. It’s true… though we created this human, they are not us and they owe us nothing. I am my own man and one day he will be too. It’s pretty freeing, actually.
We’re just here to ride the wave. You don’t get to decide where it takes you… you only get to decide whether you relax and enjoy the ride.
Here is the link to video.. the gold starts at 13:30. However, I encourage you to listen to the entire thing.. it’s really good.